Loneliness in the Age of AI
How the Digital World is both Exacerbating and Solving the Loneliness Epidemic
I've been listening to a lot of podcasts recently with Scott Galloway, who teaches at NYU and writes extensively about technology's impact on society. He makes a compelling point about how we've systematically dismantled the institutions that used to bind communities together. Religious participation has plummeted from about 70% in the 1990s to under 50% today. Marriage rates have hit historic lows with only about 31% of people in their late twenties and early thirties being married, compared to 61% in 1970. Community organizations, volunteer groups, and civic clubs that our grandparents took for granted have largely disappeared.
The paradox is that in theory we are more connected than ever before. Our phones buzz constantly with notifications while our feeds are filled with friends' updates and our calendars are packed with Zoom calls. Yet somehow, research shows that we are lonelier than we were in previous generations.
Former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has called loneliness a national epidemic. Loneliness is now considered as serious a public health threat as obesity or smoking. Nearly half of American adults report feeling genuinely disconnected from others.
What's particularly striking is how this affects young people. You'd expect teenagers and twenty-somethings, who grew up with social media, to be the most socially connected generation in history. Instead, they are reporting record levels of loneliness and social anxiety.
Social media platforms have essentially hijacked our social instincts and redirected them toward something that feels like connection but really isn't. The algorithms that power these platforms are incredibly sophisticated at keeping us engaged, but they're optimized for the wrong thing. They want us to stay on the platform, to keep scrolling, and to keep reacting. They don't care whether these interactions make us feel more connected to other human beings. In fact, there's growing evidence that the more time we spend on social media, the lonelier we feel afterward. Then there's the broader structure of how we live and work these days. Remote work, which accelerated dramatically during the pandemic, has created new forms of professional isolation. The gig economy has had a similar effect. Lonely, disengaged workers are less productive, more likely to call in sick, and more likely to quit their jobs.
The consequences of widespread loneliness extend far beyond individual unhappiness, though that would be reason enough to take this seriously. Loneliness appears to be literally killing us. From a health perspective, chronic loneliness has been tied to raising the risk of dementia in older adults and contributing to higher rates of depression and anxiety across all age groups.
Perhaps most troubling is loneliness's role in political and social fragmentation. When people feel isolated and disconnected from their communities, they become more susceptible to extremist ideologies that promise belonging and purpose. Loneliness fuels the kind of tribal thinking that's tearing apart democratic institutions and social cohesion.
In spite of all of this, there are reasons to be optimistic. As a venture capitalist, I often get to see what’s working from a solutions standpoint and see around the corner in terms of what’s to come. There are numerous startup companies that are making a difference and beginning to scale in their reach. They span from AI companions to community platforms, mental health services, technology adapted for seniors and intergenerational bonding, and more.
Papa, for instance, connects seniors with younger companions for everything from grocery shopping to just having someone to talk to. It's like "grandkids on-demand," addressing the epidemic of elderly isolation that affects about one in four adults over 65.
Be A Looper is a free mental health app that allows users to perform daily emotional check-ins. The app aims to prevent crises by encouraging users to monitor their mental health and stay connected with their support networks.
Circles creates virtual support groups for people dealing with specific life challenges, such as grief, divorce, parenting struggles. About 70% of users report feeling less lonely after eight weeks of participation. What makes this work is that it's bringing together people with genuine shared experiences, not just algorithmic matches based on demographic data.
Meeno is an AI-powered relationship coaching tool that aims to combat loneliness by improving users' social skills. Under the tagline “become fluent in flirting,” the app helps singles to build confidence and “understand what women actually want.”
Even more experimental approaches like VR social spaces and AI companions are showing promise, though they raise complex questions about the nature of authentic connection. Replika, an AI chatbot companion, has over 10 million users, many of whom report genuine emotional benefits from their interactions with their AI friend. While this might seem like a dystopian substitute for human connection, for people with severe social anxiety or those who are housebound, it might serve as a stepping stone toward more traditional relationships.
Addressing the loneliness epidemic will require changes at multiple levels, including individual, technological, and societal. Technology companies need to fundamentally rethink their metrics for success.They should consider metrics that gauge whether their platforms are actually helping users build and maintain meaningful relationships. As individuals, we need to use technology more mindfully. For many of us, including myself, this means being more intentional about our social media consumption, or making an effort to engage in activities that bring us into contact with our physical (“in real life”) communities.
The loneliness epidemic isn't inevitable. It's the result of specific choices we've made about how to structure our society and design our technologies. That means we can make different choices. What gives me hope is that awareness of the problem is growing, and innovative solutions are emerging. The startups I mentioned are just the beginning. As more people recognize that social connection is essential for health and happiness, I expect we'll see more resources devoted to fostering it.